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Busted. By the wonderful Grace Farris.
P.S. Very minor holidays and plant children.
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My friend diligently spritzed her little hanging terrarium and was so proud of how it was thriving, only to realize a full year later that it was fake.
hahahaha omg that is amazing.
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love this so much
I like to think of myself as a 1980s plant parent. Everyone gets water once a week and plant food once a year. Beyond that, you’re on your own.
actual lol Kell :-)
Ah yes, I remember my plant phase. I used to say every time I went back to my local nursery that I needed more plants because I needed to hide the fact that I was a plant murderer. Eventually I decided I was going to go broke before I figured it out and it was okay to not have plants….
I have killed every single plant I ever had including succulents and cacti which I thought would be ok…is it my energy? Animals/ a lot of people like me but not plants!
Try photos! They are unkillable!! (unless you really try :)
Love this one.
This hits home.
When we brought our newborn home from the hospital and showed him around the appartment we made sure to tell him “Don’t worry about the plants, we will take good care of you!”
Wiped every.single.pothos leaf with rubbing alcohol yesterday after discovering MEALYBUGS. Horrific name for what I thought was just white, cottony schmutz. MEALYBUGS.
We too had mealybugs once and they are admittedly not fun, but also the name makes me laugh! It’s so gross but also fun to say?
And a PSA to anyone whose plants do get mealybugs — you can wipe the leaves with isopropyl as above, but you can also just target each mealybug with a q-tip dipped in isopropyl, which is very satisfying. Just make sure to separate the affected plants from your other plants until all signs of mealybugs are well and truly gone – we waited a week after seeing the last one, then moved them back to their regular spots. We’ve never had an issue with them since!
Ha! I laughed out loud at the plastic fern! My husband – a true gardener, farmer, and landscape architect with a potted rubber tree older than our 20 year old marriage – talked me into an artificial orchid (from Ikea!) forever ago. It’s not only going strong, but it has out-survived many, many living buddies on the bathroom counter. Still looks fresh as a daisy! lol
My birds nest fern devastated me this week by presenting signs of root rot AND crown rot?!??? I thought we were soul mates?
If your plants aren’t doing well – It’s not your fault. I move my houseplants from sunny spot to sunny spot until they seem happy and then I leave them there forever. Some of them aren’t in the right neighborhood yet, but we’ll figure it out. My fiddle Leaf Figs (Flo and Floyd) never going to be majestic but they’re doing their best and we are happy together.
Listen to this great Wirecutter podcast for houseplant tips: https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/wirecutter-show-podcast-20250416-houseplants/
I love Flo and Floyd the fiddle leaf figs!
OMG, I can relate to the orchid. 🙁 Would it be cheating to use Miracle-Gro?
OMG…the orchid. 🙁 Would it be cheating to use Miracle- Gro? 🌱 *
I have that fiddle leaf! currently dying a slow death at a north facing window near a drafty spot. other plants are doing reasonably well. I water them on Fridays and mostly ignore them otherwise.
my tip for pest control is this: don’t look too closely. whatever you try probably won’t make a difference anyway.
Oh gosh, my fiddle leaf fig is so DRAMATIC.
Move that geranium outside and let it bake in the sunshine! One of my favorite plants, though some associate mainly with putting on graves since it’s pretty hardy. I have a much happier connection with them!
Maybe use a different term? Having black skin is a healthy and beautiful human attribute for +/- 2 billion people and in no way correlated with gardening acumen. Intentionally removing “unintentional” racist and colorist tropes from our vernacular is within our power and very worthwhile, even if facing the casual violence of our word choices stings.
Thank you!
Ha!!! Plastic fern made me lol. I very much identify with this as a serial plant killer. Last weekend, my partner and I planted a slightly epic patio bamboo garden (for privacy and to add some green to our tiny concrete yard). The stakes are high and I’ve resolved to be a better plant parent! Wish me luck!
I always look forward to Grace’s posts! Always so sweet, funny, tender, & insightful. They always make me smile!
This one cuts deep. Please tell me how to love you, hibiscus on my balcony! You make me want to be a better gardener!
Oh my, I can relate! I’m a?/an? herbicide in human form. Maybe I should get a Pothos and try Diana’s technique…
I have ONE indoor house plant. It is a succulent. My dear friend back East got one our 3 person friend group almost a decade ago. It was about an inch in size back then and in a frig magnet container. Well, mine is the only one left. It’s now about the size of a softball. I recently replanted it in a pot I bought and love. Spring green flowers on the pot. Anyway, long story, but as my only house plant and lone survivor of friend group, I thought she deserved it. :)
Christmas cactus is a year round commitment.
I’d add in- “Pothos- hasn’t been watered with anything but discarded cold coffee since 2019 and absolutely thriving”
This! What is it about Pothos? Love mine. Great starter plant. Would also recommend the thanksgiving cactus
Ha!
Even my plastic fern isn’t fine, it’s very dusty! :)
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